Crazy British Bella
by JoanneCullen
Summary: She's British, she has mental issues, she has got a attitude, that will scare you. Bella is 16 and now has to move to Forks, and she thinks she will get a job and wait out the couple months before they move back. But this is America, and you have to be in school until you're 18. Not good for this crazy girl, especially with Edward being her neighbour and locker buddy MATURE CONTENT
1. Chapter 1

"So Isabella, how do you think the session went today?" Emily asked me, looking over her rimmed glasses. I could see the pen in her hand ready to pounce at my next answer.

"You're the therapist, why don't you tell me?" I raised an eyebrow. The hour was up and I couldn't be anymore happier. Yet here I am still sat in this damn hot office, with this damn woman who persist to get even the slightest insight into my mind.

"Well, I think you're making very good progress. A couple more weeks and I'm sure I can get to the root of your problems and..."

"And take my worries away?" I smirked.

"Yes exactly," Emily smiles.

"Well that's a shame. My dad just decided to take up a job offer in Forks and were leaving in two days. So, I guess you won't be getting anywhere near the root of my 'problems'" I sassed.I looked up at the clock seeing were already five minutes past the time I'm scheduled. Only problem is with this therapist, she has the right to keep me here longer, until she says I may leave.

"You don't seem very happy about that," She mumbles. Well, thanks for stating the obvious.

"If I'm that transparent, shouldn't my therapy have finished... hmmm, two months ago?" I pried and she sighed leaning back in her chair.

"Why are you not happy about moving?" She asks me again, completely dogging my sarcastic question.

I roll my eyes, letting out a deep puff of air.

"I just got out of school.I'm sixteen and I've just been given my freedom, and now I have to leave behind my friends to move to America. I don't even want to go to America, all I hear about is bombs, deaths, mass murders-"

"So you're scared to die?" She interrupts me. I narrow my eyes at her.

"Isn't everyone a little bit scared to 's just... I have a home here in London. My whole family is here, my whole life. If only my dad would realise that he can get a good stable job here without moving halfway across the world. It's bloody ridiculous!" I rant. When I look at Emily she is furiously scribbling down on her notepad, my eyes roll all over again, at her constant antics.

"We have a couple firms over in America, there is one in Forks I'm sure. I'll have an appointment made with one of the therapists there and you can see them, then I can still get some check ups on your progress," She informs me and I mentally groan. "You may leave now, but I want you to put your worries in a box and places them deep down in your mind, while you're on this trip. Enjoy it."

I pull on my lip, and bite down on the skin there, while I stand. I sling my messenger bag over my right shoulder.

"Theres a problem with boxes Emily. They need keys to be unlocked, and in my mind, that box and the keys a two ends to a magnet, no matter how hard I try to push them away, I will lose strength and the key will eventually find the box," I tell her, leaving her slightly speechless in her chair.

I walk out of there leaving her office door wide open, as I pass a waiting room full of people with bigger problems than me. There a woman chewing on a soap bar for gods sake. Why am I even here? I don't have a problem. Only my mum and dad think I do, and a couple teachers from my secondary school, and my primary, and a few students aswell.

Agh, I just don't even give a crap anymore, all of this is bloody bullshit.

I walk with quick steps towards the exit, the cold British air hitting my skin and making me feel comforted. I love the cold, it's something I've become accustomed to. I hope Forks isn't all beach parties and palm trees with the blazing sun there all the time. Ill probably pass out.


	2. Chapter 2

I look at my mother and father passed out in the seats beside me. My mother next to the window, my father next to her and me sitting on the end. I get the side with the broken armrest, and the table table with stains all over it from spilt, tea or some weird looking brown, substance.

I change the song on my phone to my rock playlist, and sleeping with sirens comes on straight away. Ironic how the song is called,'Better off dead'. Just how I feel right now, I would better off be dead than stuck on this damn plane for a thirteen hour flight ahead of me.

I hate flying, it's not a heights problem, more of a worrying problem. So many faults, ways to dies, so many possibilities. The plane could crash into an unexpected plane, there could be a storm, the engine could cut out, we could run out of fuel, there could even be a terrorist on this plane ready to just lets his ticking time bomb go off.

Even with all of these thoughts running through my head, I feel no panic. Just calm. Calm and collected, as every thought I have seems to be followed by a way to die. It's just the way my weird sadistic brain works.

I take the carry on bag from the luggage compartment under my seat, and take out my diary and purple pen with fuzzy hair at the top. Mum bought it for me for school, but it's not like I ever used it there, that would have been degrading of my status. If I even had one. I was a ghost in school, and everyone was polite to me when I wasn't snapping at them.

See, I like everything to match, to be similar. If I have a black top on then I need to have black trousers, black shoes and well you get the point. The same as if I have pink carpet, then my rug, curtains, lamps and bed sheets all have to match.

Its just being efficient really, I see nothing wrong with it.

I look at the fresh blank page of my diary, and begin to write nonsense that Emily demands I do. She won't ever read it, but she said I must document my thoughts, because those are the things that hold my secrets, my worries and my 'illness' as Emily calls it.

Dear Diary,

No cross that out immediately, it sounds idiotic and so cliche.

Dear pretend person that does not exist,

I'm on a plane on my way to Forks. I've already informed you about this trip, so I won't go into a long rant like yesterday's entry. Mum and Dad are both asleep, which is good for me because that means peace, but also bad because they will be less able to survive a crash if there unconscious. So I'm staying awake for this whole plane ride.I'm already mapping out my plan to cut up a bunch of magazines and fill my bedroom wall with a collage of pictures and posters. I will need to be carefull with the scissors though. My first day in Forks will be spent with me trying to find a job in the city. I'm sixteen and I feel as though I should be working.I did bring my razor with me, It's in my panda bear. I dont plan on using it, but just in case I will have my escape close by.

Thats all for now.

I close my diary, putting the little padlock on it and stuffing it into the bag. I take out my PsP and try to get off the same dam level of grand theft auto that I have been stuck on for days. I won't let it beat me.


	3. Chapter 3

Our house was huge, my room was huge, everything here seemed only huge, but cold, so cold. I am currently standing on my balcony, Letting the drizzle of rain hit my skin, and make me shiver with each frozen droplet.

I needed to go out and try and find a local shop that is hiring.

I walk back into my room shutting the balcony doors behind me, and looking at my walls with a grin. Their is none of the plain white walls left to see, it's all posters. Rock bands from my rocksound magazines, pictures from the Ok! magazines aswell, fill all four walls. About eight magazines well used and spent.

My bed is a double bed, which is a bonus I guess from having the single bed, in my box room back in London. I have my own on suite bathroom, which is fuckng crazy. I have a white wardrobe that goes perfect with my black and white room theme.

Though this is all cool, it doesn't feel like home. It feels like I just walked into a hotel room, and not my bedroom for the next, however many months.

I pick up my two suitcases, that are now empty off the floor and tuck them underneath the bed. I change out of my light clothing from England and look for something suitable, for this freezer temperature weather.

My purple jeans and lilac rain jacket are the first things I see, and being lazy I just put them on. I get out a pair of purple and white sandals that have a diamond near the toe part.

Before I leave the house, I get the third degree from mum about wandering off into a neighbourhood I've only just gotten into. But seriously, we're probably in one of the richest neighbourhoods, what can go wrong. Anyway I don't want to go far, because I'll probably have heat stroke.

As I walk outside, I don't get two steps away before I nearly crashed straight into a cheerful looking woman holding a plastic container in her hands.

"Hello. You must be our new neighbour, Ah, this is just so exciting." The woman cheers with a overly cheerful smile that makes me cringe.

My worst nightmare...people. Not only people, but overly happy people, bursting with emotion and they want to communicate. Shit, I have the worst socializing skills in the world. Now I'm just standing here like a petrified fish, caught in a net with no escape.

"Are you alright darling?" Her American accent coming out, and her smile turning into a frown.

Speak, Isabella, be normal and just speak you complete retard, a voice shouts at me from my consciences.

"Pardon me, I- I have to go," I say, trying to scoot around her, but failing when she squeals, placing her container in one hand and hugging me.

I'm frozen from anxiety at her touch and I can feel the uncomfortable feeling rising in my body.

"Correct me if im wrong, but is that a british accent I hear?" She asks me, and pulls away, so I detach myself from her completely.

"Yes."

"Oh my its so beautiful.I've always been into the whole accent son will just love you. Edward! Get over here, meet the new neigbours!" She shouts and my eyes widen in panic.

"I really have to-" I start trying to be polite so I can escape.

"I want to welcome you to the neighbourhood, um, what did you say your name was?" She questions me, and somehow I just burst. I clench my hand into a fist, as I hear the front door behind me open.

"Why dont you just fucking move? Can't you see I'm trying to fucking go somewhere," I shout at her, just as my mum rushes to my side placing a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off. The lady in front of me is completely mortified, but I feel no sympathy.

"Isabella Marie! How could you be so crass, my deepest apologies, she has problems-"

"I dont have problems," I snap at my mum." I'll be back soon." I tell her harshly before walking down the driveway to the little gate for people to enter and walk out of.

When I walk out a teenage boy with shaggy locks of auburn hair pops into my view with green eyes boring into mine with surprise. His hands stuffed tightly into the pockets of his hoodie, light brown shorts with sneakers for shoes.

His mouth parts slightly as he looks at me, and he stands there in my way looking like a idiot.

"What! Move out of my way you twat." I snap at him, before pushing him aside and walking off down the road along the pavement.

At the end of the road there is a corner shop called,'Billy's 24 hour Market'. I walk inside the place, with about three neon lights in the window announcing its open. Bight labels with dollar signs and lables are on every shelf, for brands of food I've never even heard of.

I walk over to the cashier, and look around the empty shop. There might aswell be crickets in the background croaking, from the looks of it, this place is a ghost town. Perfect, I hope there are jobs available.

"Hello, don't tell me, is your name Billy by any chance?"I question sarcastically making the tanned man behind the counter laugh. He looks like your typical family man, with a friendly smile and glasses resting on the collar of his shirt.

"Well ar'ent you a cheeky litt'le is Billy, and don't tell me you must be from England." He jokes, his voice sounding like one from a western movie.

"Yep, is it that easy to tell?"

"Sure is. Now darling, what can I help you with?" He questions me, and I'm thankful for the quick jump in conversation.

"Well, I'm new to the area and I'm in search of a job."

"Right, well, what kind of experience do you have?" He asks me first.

"Nothing," I say and he narrows his eyes in surprise.

"Do you have a CV?" He adds. Shit, I knew I would forget something. I have one made on my laptop, but never got around to printing it off. Crap.

"No, I don't have one,"

He sighs in response.

"Well, what qualifications do you have? I can't just take you on without any experience, you would have to go through training, that I just dont have the time for unfortunately." He explains.

"Well, I know my GCSE's off by heart-" I begin but I am cut of by a laugh.

"GCSE? What is that, something you have over in Britain?" He snorts, and my hand clenched, my nails digging into my hand.

"Yes. Isnt it the same over here?" I ask impatiently and he shakes his head, not even noting my growing anger.

"No, I'm sorry , but your 'GCSE', aren't going to get you anyway, in the job sector over age are you anyway?"

Un-fucking-believable.

"I'm sixteen, just got out of secondary school,"I announce and he silently chuckles again. Billy's really starting to piss me off now.

"Well, looks like you need to head back to highschool, school ends at eighteen in this country. Legally, you need to be in school or your parents could go to jail." He tells me and I narrow my eyes at him.

"What, but I finished school. Even if I moved surely I don't have to go," I argues and he shifts on his stool, turning to face me more.

"Sorry darling, to break the news to you, but when you're in the US you live by our rules, you not in England no more. If you want a job here you will have to go to highschool and get the state's GPA rating." He tells me and I start to walk out of the shop. I turn my back and I go to leave without a word, but something inside me makes me shout one last thing.

"This is fucking bullshit!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Mum, what the fuck is this shop keeper on about me having to go back to school again?" I ask, as soon as I storm into the living room, where dad and mum are both sat drinking away at a cup of tea.

She looks at dad before giving me a sheepish look, and putting her cup down.

"What do you mean sweetie?" She asks and I roll my eyes, digging my nails into my palms.

"The guy said my GCSE's dont mean nothing here. He said I will have to go back to school here. That's bullshit right, I'm sixteen, schools over for me." I argue, and this time dads responds using his calm tone.

"It's true Isabella, as long as we're in America you're going to have to go back to secondary school, otherwise the government, will either kick us out of the country or me and your mother will go to jail," He tells me, and my rage knots up inside my stomach.

"I don't give a fuck if we have to go back to England. I've been here one day and I already hate it. It's bloody cold as the arctic, and now I have to go back to school. That damned place," I mutter the last part instead of shouting.

"It might be different here Isabella, this is America, land of the free, home of the-"

"I doesn't matter where I am dad. Teenagers are all the same. Horny, rude, arrogant, cunts." I spit.

"Isabella! Language," Mum scolds.

"Look, when I made this agreement I got some information about good schools in the area, and some enrolment papers, I just need your signature-" Dad started, but the information clicked in my head.

"You knew before we came here. And you didnt tell me?" I asked very slowly, and the realization of his mistake appeared on dads face.

This has to be a joke, this can't be real.

"Isab-" I run off, up to my room, before he can continue.

I slam my door shut and rush straight for my bed where my panda bear sits straight in the middle. It was a present from my best friend Felix . I was only eight when he brought it for my birthday party. He was the only one who truly understood me, before he killed himself from the constant bullying he got.

I've never gotten to that stage to where I wanted to kill myself, because I was too scared to die. Call it being a coward, but I'm smart enough to realise, there is no God, and nowhere beyond the darkness that death brings. (Sorry God lovers, no offence Isabella is Crazy)

Also, I can stand up for myself, something Felix could never do. He took the words to heart, every word they spat at him, and now he is gone. He was probably the only other person except my parents who I could tolerate being stuck in a room with.

Now, as I undo the lining of the bear, and pull out some stuffing, I look at the shiny metallic object. I named my razor, as weird as it sounds, giving it a name makes it somehow nicer in my eyes.

I called it 'Fex' in memory of my old friend. So not only is every cut on my skin for my own sake, but for every bullie that said even one word to Felix.

Just one cut... one cut and the pain will all go away.

I grasp Fex in between my fingers and hold it against my wrist. I look at the sharp blade touching my skin, but not penetrating it. I just watch it sitting on my skin, balancing of the line of drawing blood.

Use the diary Isabella.

I don't want to listen to the conscience inside me telling me to pull away, to pick up my useless diary. I want to cut, I want to bleed, I want this raging anger to go away. I just want to feel anything but this total madness inside me.

"Fuck." I spat in anger, throwing my blade against the pillows on my bed.

I jump off the sheets and go over to my desk draw to retrieve the diary, and little key for the padlock. I take off the lock, and flick to the page which has my fluffy pen wedged in between it.

Dear...person who doesn't even fucking care what I write,

How could I be such a fucking imbecile, and think that this move to America was to going to be a bag of rainbows. My first day her, the first bloody day, and there must be a heatwave going on because there is sweat everywhere on my body. Yes, I mean everywhere. The neighbour is a bubbly spirit, making want to stab her, or gauge her eyes out. I'm pretty sure I bumped into her son aswell, who was just standing in my way like a bloody wall. Now, I've found out some amazing news. I'm going back to secondary school, or high school as they say it over bullshit. The worst is dad knew this before we moved.I just wanted to cut myself, but I can't otherwise, mum and dad will see the scars, and send me straight to the loony bin. I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and stay away from I am not signing those papers.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up, feeling the cold air prickling against my skin, making me want to groan and crawl into the confinements of my warm bed. I snuck every limb, sticking out of the covers, back under and hey immediately started to warm.

I raised my head from the pillow, looking across the room, at the ticking clock on the wall.

Eleven forty three am. On a Friday. Jet lag seems to not be a problem for me. It's not like I have to worry about the sun waking me up here, there seems to be no sun existent. Just rain, clouds and winds.

My stomach grumbles, but I ignore it, rolling onto my stomach and breathing in the flora scent of my pillow. I close my eyes slowly, drifting back off into a sleep, and escaping the nightmare I'm currently living in.

 _I wandered the empty hall ways of my old school. The hallways carpeted with a royal blue, the walls a plain cream colour, with the wood all painted a dark grey. I passed by the English classrooms, heading towards the science labs._

 _I pushed past one door, into another hallways, which now had laminated flooring. The floor littered with old chewing gum, imprinted into the tiles. The wales a light lime colour, with scientific posters, with cheesy catchphrases on them._

 _I walk by the same hallways, that I have walked for five years. Only there were people here the last time I was here._

 _It is dark here at school. No natural light from the outside, just the emergency lights illuminating the hallways. I don't feel scared at all, this seems natural to me. I feel more safe in the dark. Because at least when i'm in the dark I can't see the shit that is reality._

 _The room numbers S4 burn into my mind, and I push open the door to the exact room from my mind. A shining ray of light floods over me as the classroom shifts to a different room. The hexygon, lab tables with stools littered across the classroom completely changes._

 _The room is still filled with scientific posters, and lab equipment. But there are rows of tables now, stretching as far back as eight complete rows, with high stools for each place. And in those places are students._

 _Students...not my old classmates thought. These are people I've never seen before. Paper planes, in their hands, each one with a pair of emotionless eyes, and a hand raised, ready to through the plane in there hands._

 _"The new girl is here," They all say in sync, before throwing the planes towards me. Midflight, the form shifts to look like shard meat cutting knives, all faced with there shard point, aiming at my chest._

 _I scream as a shard shines in my eyes, and the world blanks out._

I wake up with a startled gasp, my body coated in a thin layer of sweat. Never thought I would sweat under these conditions. I throw the quilt off my body, cooling down, and getting out of bed to stretch out my stiff limbs.

I look over at the clock, and notice I've been sleeping for over four hours now. My whole body feels more relaxed and less tense then this morning. But my stomach still grumbles, and loud this time. I'm surprised and bloody monster doesn't live in side of there demanding food every five minutes. Because I love my food.

I mean I love my food. I asked father christmas for my own mini fridge when I was eight, just so I didnt have to move far to get something to eat. I never did get it though.I got a tamagotchi instead. All the kids wanted one, and nearly every kid in my school had one except me, but I just didnt like it. It was annoying and kept dying, and I had more fun pressing the reset button then playing the game.

I guess, that was one of mums ways to help me fit in with the other kids.

I scoff to myself and spin around to walk over to my wardrobe. I pull out some grey sweat pants, a white tank top, and a grey hoodie. Pure comfort. Now I just need to try and sneak past my mum, to get some food. I haven't eaten since yesterday when I managed to snag a packet of crisps in the night.

I crack open the door, hearing the soft sounds coming from the tv downstairs. Its good that mum is distracted, it just makes this even more easier.

I take small gentle steps, sneaking down the hallway, creeping down the stairs, taking one steady step at one time. The noise from the tv grows louder, the sound of an american sports commercial playing drifting around the downstairs of the house.

I look left to right when I reach the bottom step. Slowly, I walk around the staircase on the right hand side, going along the hallway towards the kitchen. The door is open, making this easier for me, and I quickly tiptoe towards the fridge.

I open it up, seeing food I've never heard of and unknowns brands with bold packaging. I grab a pink package and something that looks like a chocolate croissant. I grab a bottle of water, but also and can o coke. I see a chocolate bar and place it in between my teeth, trying to juggle the items in my hands.

I wasn't lying...I'm a pig.

In quickly tiptoe, eager to get back to the safe heaven that is my room. I creep back around the corner of the staircase, and have to take extra careful steps. As each one jolts my food, making the pancakes rustle with noise.

When I'm only two steps away from the top, I hear the sound of keys in a lock. My eyes widen as the keys chime, and clink together.

Shit.

In my panic I stomp up the last two steps, running with the food, back into my room and dropping the food to my bedroom floor, while locking it behind me. I let out a deep breath, sinking to the ground next to the food, and opening up the pink packet, only to see some weird type of animal shaped biscuits.

I look over at the clock, that reads five past five in the afternoon. Well at least I know what time dad finishes work now.

I pop open the can of coke, taking a sip, then wincing from the intrusion of gases in my stomach. Nonetheless I finish of the biscuits, and move onto the croissant, taking slowly bites, savoring the amazing pastry.

After I finished with my food and can of coke, I put the packing in my little bin in the corner. I take the bottle of water with me over to my desk, and sit down to go on my laptop, that I got last year.

I turn it on, putting in my password, and logging straight onto facebook to catch up with people. I see all the fun people are having back in London, all my old classmates are either on holiday, or just relaxing with there time off.

I can't believe im stuck in this town... in this country. I wanna go back home, back to England, back to the place I know.

I write in a new status 'Awake and filled up, perfect'. I hit send, then, go off onto a different website, so I can play some games to pass the time.

A few hours later, and I am fully engaged in a game of 8 ball pool with someone, and a knock sounds at my door. I ignore it, knowing one of them was going to come and try to talk me into signing the papers.

I carry on, potting the last one of my striped ball, leaving only the black 8 ball left to go, but its in a awkward position. I line up the aim and shot, just missing the hole.

Someone knocks at the door again, so I ignore them.

The other person potts there last remaining three balls, and I'm pissed to see they have the 8 ball in a perfect, easy position.

"Bella, open this door now!" My mother shouts, just at as the other person pots the ball in one easy hit.

For fuck sake...

I stand up, out of my chair, and open the door, looking at mum and dad with one raised eyebrow. They stand there, both with their faces in a stern frown, ready to pounce on me.

"Bella, I know you're dead set against not signing this, but what if we come to an agreement? One that will help all of us?" My mum questions, and unfortunately, my mind is intrigued.

I don't speak, giving mum then nod so she can carry on.

"If you sign the papers, and go to school for five months, then we will go back to England." Mum says, and ends with a sigh. I could tell she really doesn't want to go, but she is compromising.

I could go home, back to England, back to London. It's five months of school though. It really does pass by quicker then most think. I don't know if I could do it. Suffer five months then get to go back home.

"Three months." I say.

Mum looks at dad, and her purses his lips, which is basically his way of thinking.

"How about three months, and you go to therapy every sunday." Dad says, in a bargaining way.

Three months is nothing, and therapy, I can just sleep through.

"Deal," I nod.

I guess I went down easier, but at least I get to go back home at the end of the three months of hell.

* * *

 **Yay, now she's going to go to American high school. Gosh, how will crazy Bella, deal with the cliques, and the lessons. Hope you guys are liking this story so far, and I bet you're all just waiting for when Bella and Edward properly talk.**

 **They live just next door to each other :O Little cliche, but I wanted it to happen.**


	6. Chapter 6

It was Sunday now, dad was at work -doing whatever it is he does, I never paid much attention when he talks about work. Mum thought it would be good for me to go do some shopping before school starts.

Forks is really small, so when I thought it would take at least a week for them to get my letter they got it the next day. The next bloody day, do these people in this town have no life. The principal called up and accepted me on to start Monday.

It was too soon for me, but mum and dad did say I would only have to go for three months, so the faster we start the quicker it's over. After we are done shopping, mum is going to drive me to the therapists office here in Forks.

Mandy sent a email saying that the office is just a 1 hour drive away, and in the closets city here which is Port Angeles. So mum just decided it was better to do some shopping in the city. Its not like Forks has much to offer, just a couple shopping markets, and little box shops with mostly secondhand items.

Port Angeles is still cold though. The rain following us all the way from Forks, and the cloud filled sky looming over us everytime we came out of a shop.

Mum was a nightmare to shop with, if she saw something through the window, she would have to inspect it up close. We must have look deranged, zigzagging through every shop along the street, then switching to the other side of the road to carry on.

"What about a nice new rucksack? This ones pretty," She commented holding up a pink and white nike bag in front of me.

"I have a bag." I say nonchalantly, shutting her down immediately. My hand wrapped around the strap of my messenger bag, out of protection.

"That messanger bag of yours is getting too old. The badges have been on there since you first got it nine years ago." She complains, and I keep my face void of any emotion except for irritation.

"I don't care,"

"Fine. Keep the bag," She gave up, moving on over to the equipment part of the store.

I picked up the set of equipment, with the black colour scheme. The was a plain black pencil case to go along with it and I picked it out. Knowing me, I'd probably be the only one with a pencil case, but I needed it otherwise I would lose everything.

When we finally moved on and the time was nearing one o'clock, mum decided we could quickly get some new clothes. I didn't want any new clothes, I had plenty already. My new wardrobe only had one spare draw left to fill with clothes, I really didn't need any more.

She grabbed a pile of different jeans and tops, piling them up from the reduced section of the shop. I stood back watching as she racked the cheap shelves for the least expensive clothes, and adding them to the pile. Classic mom.

I didn't need name brands, to me they were just a word. As long as I wasn't naked I was happy with whatever clothes I had. Mum paid for an obscene amount of clothes, that I most likely wouldn't wear, and ushered me out back to the car.

We were late for the therapy session, and inside I was secretly smirking because it meant less time stuck in that room listening to whatever bullshit Mandy has said about me. I clearly don't have any problems with me, I'm just an average girl from Britain.

"Isabella, snap out of it, quickly we're late already," Mum snaps, unlocking her seat belt and jumping out of the car. I follow along slowly, not even caring about how late we are, it was mums obsessive clothes shopping that made us late in the first place.

The rain hit me in every direction, as I followed mom into a small building that looked more like a little house. In fact it was a house. A house with a front desk in the living room and two sofas, a tv and a water dispenser as a waiting room.

The place look like my grandmas house, especially with the brown shaded carpeting and nasty flower wallpaper. Did someone die in this place they they just thought 'Oh I know lets make it into a calming sanctuary for crazy people'. Whoever's idea this was, I hope they are seeing a therapist aswell.

"Hello, sorry were late, traffic was a nightmare," Mum lies, doing her nervous chuckle, as she talks to the man behind the desk.

"That's alright. Name of the client?" He asks, opening up a folder with a list of names. I seriously hate the way he said client. It's like I'm some kind of diseased person.

"Isabella Swan."

His finger trailed down to the bottom of the list before he read it for five seconds then looked up with a shit eating grin.

"Your Mandy's transfer for England. It's nice to meet you Isabella. Mandy told me to put you specifically with the best therapist here and you will really love Dr Jenkins, he is the best in Washington d.c." The guy grins proudly, and I smile a fake smile to him.

He's probably the only one, thats why hes so good. I mean if he was that good, why would he pick this company to work under.

Just saying...

"Oh thats amazing news. What time do you think the session will be over?" Mum asks him and he checks the clock before looking back at his folder.

"Well there only really half an hour left, and I would think that Mr Jenkins would like to formally introduce himself to you. Isabella should be done by two o'clock. If you come here, you can wait in here until Isabella is excused." He tells mum, his American accent making each syllable seem exaggerated.

"Alright well-" Mum turned to me. "Ill go do some food shopping then Ill be back to pick you up alright."

"I'm sixteen mum, I think I can handle being alone for half an hour," I exaggerated. She sighed and nodded her head, she gives me a brief , uncomfortable hug then leaves the house, leaving me and they receptionist.

"Isabella, if you would like to follow me." The recepsoint said. Well I don't want to follow you, but I guess I have to.

I hike my bag up my shoulder, following him down the corridors and up the carpeted staircase. The theme throughout the whole house looks the same as the first room. Same carpet, same wallpaer, same grandma feeling.

He stops outside of a door which has a name place screwed onto it, and a two other hole that must be from the last occupant. He knocks on the door.

"Dr. Jenkins, I have Miss Swan here for an appointment." He calls through the closed door.

"Come in," A deep, gruff voice says. When the receptionist opens the door, I'm slightly stunned by the interior. The room itself is small, but the high raised ceiling makes up for it. The walls on either side are made out of high rising bookshelves, filled to the brim of books, and the whole office looks professional and nothing like a grandmas house.

The man behind the desk has small square glasses on, too small for his face, and a blue suit, popped open to reveal his white t-shirt. He has dark skin, with more hair on his beard then on his head. He looks like someone who doesn't take any shit. Well, hes just going to have the best sunday afternoons for three months, now I'm in town.

"Thank you Darren," Jenkins nods and I walk in. The door clicks behind me so I take a seat in the comfy, leather brown chair, relaxing into it, as Jenkins appraises me.

"Hello Isabella, Mandy has told me quite alot about you," He tells me. I smirk slightly, my right cheek giddly raising up.

"Im sure she has. I've given quite a lot to talk about." I joke and Jenks sits there emotionless with unmoving eyes.

"Yes, well we haven't got long today, so why don't we just get to know eachother. I want you to feel as comfortable talking to me as you do talking to Mandy." He informs me.

Yeah right mate, If thats how you want it them all you will be getting as answers to your questions are either a joke or a yes and no. It's not like I'm going to learn anything about he, he only wants to find out about me, it's the whole point of his job.

"Whats your name?" He asks simply, getting out his own version of a notepad, like Mandy has.

"Thats a stupid question. Can you not read?" I questioned him straight back, smirking.

"I want you to tell me," He says as if its as simple as that.

Please somebody drag me out of this room and bury me in a pit ten feet underground.

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"When were you born?" He asks me, writing down my answer.

"Havent like got this all on some document or some shit?" I question, letting out a frustrated groan at his answer.

"I want you to tell me."

Thank god we were late today.

"September 13th 1986" I answer looking around his office, trying to read some of the book titles. They're all classics, I can tell from the worn out spines and old calligraphy of writing on them.

Wouldn't it be funny is he had a twilight book amongst these, I'm sure hes not the type for sappy romance novels and sparkling vampires in love. He's a therapist for godsake, and a grumpy one at that.

"Where were you born?" He fires another question and I decided just to answer his questions. Get this over and done with.

"Chealsea and westminster hospital, in London."

"Who do you live with?" He asks, writing down the info. Maybe he actually thinks all this basic information is useful?

"My mum Renee and my dad Charlie."

"When did you start coming to therapy?"

See now that is a hard question. Can I even recall the first time I had to come here. It must have been some time in Primary school. Oh yeah...

"When I was eleven." I reply, looking down at my fingers, and listening to the sound of a pen scraping across paper.

"And why did you get sent here?" He questions.I know this will be on my file, but he will just repeat the same shit about wanting me to answer the question.

"I bit and stapled my teacher's hand when she tired to take me to the headteacher's office." I replied, my voice monotone of any emotion.

"And the headteacher is the principle?" He questions, and I nod giving a eyeroll. I forgot I was in America then, this guy barely even has an accent.

"What did you do that was so bad you had to be sent to the head teachers office?" He questions and I sigh getting bored from these questions.

"I pushed a girl off of the slide and she dislocated her shoulder. But she was picking on me, calling me crazy and kicking me when I was just sitting on my own drawing to myself." I defended myself, just like when I first met Mandy.

That bitch had it coming anyway, she deserved to have some pain, as well as the teacher for manhandling me like a dog.

"And you think that's normal behavior? To push a innocent little girl of a slide, then bite and staple your teachers hand?" He questions, disbelief filling his voice. He is twisting this to make me seem like the criminal in all of this. Such bullshit.

"For one, she was far from innocent. Two, I was a little girl as well at the time. And three, the teacher shouldn't have manhandled me without expecting me to put up a fight. If anything it's there fault." I shrugged leaning back and looking around for a clock. Dammit, no clock to see when this shit is over.

"Have you ever harmed yourself?" He questioned, blinking only once then going back to writing.

"This is all in my folder, if you want to know why do you just fucking look at that," I complain and yet again he does not move.

"I want you to tell me." He says again, and I groan in frustration.

"Well, I'm not going to fucking tell you. Do you think I want to drag up the fucking past of how I was bullied and tortured throughout most of my school years? You're the therapist and your ment to make me feel better yet all I feel is fucking pissed off and annoyed," I complain in a rush, making him sigh.

"I can't help you feel better if I dont know why you feel bad in the first place." He replies straight back.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. this guy is the best in washington? Well washington is fucked if this guy is the best therapist. This must be the most suicidal state in America.

"And I have told you it's all in my folder."I snap back.

"And I have told you I want you to tell me. Just this one question Isabella." He informs me.

"Fine, yes I have cut myself, yes I have overdosed one time, and yes I have been hospitalized three times because I cut too deep, but I haven't cut in five months,"I defend.

He took in the information, nodding his head at the end. I had all these memories floating around my head of cutting myself, waking up in hospital and my parents crying as they looked at my scars. It all feel to fresh in my mind. I suppresses the memories into the back of my mind, trying to block them out.

"Five months is a long time Isabella, you should be proud of yourself. As long as you dont have those thoughts again, you shouldnt even harm yourself again. That's a really big step." He praises me.

Yeah, well you should have been there Friday when I was on verge of breaking that amazing five months of not cutting.

" I know today wasnt easy, and I'm glad you opened up to me, not many clients do as I tell them, and you put up less of a fight then I expected. To be honest after the first question I half expected you to just walk out of the door." He admitted.

"Would you have let me?" i questioned, curious.

"Yes, I'm not holding you here against your will." He told me.

Shit, I could have just left like that. Well at least I know for next Sunday.

"But if you do walk out, you will be fined as you are only sixteen, and you are wasting valuable time for people who need it." He points 's like he knew what I was planning in my head.

"Can I go no then?" I ask, hope threading my voice.

"Yes, but is there anything worrying you you would like to mention?" He asks, and I pause thinking about it.

I am worried about school tomorrow. What if the bullying and torture just happens all over again. What if its even worse here then in England? I sigh. I'm not going to tell him, I don't really feel like I could say all my worries to him. Just like Mandy I shake my head and stand up to leave.

"Oh and Isabella, Mandy wanted me to ask if you were still using your diary?" He questioned just as soon as my back was turned to him.

"Well, you can tell her that I am and it's still a useless, piece of shit," I tell him, walking out of there and going back down the stairs to where the main room is.

There sitting on the couch is my mum, engrossed in a program on the tv. The waiting room is a ghost town, with only the receptionist and my mum sitting in looked up as I approached her and she smiled at me, but I just frowned.

"How was it sweetie?" She asked, standing up with a plastic cup filled with water in it. I take it from her hands downing the whole cup.

"Lets just get back to the house." I say, crushing the cup in my hand and throwing it in a bin as I pass by the front desk, into the hammering downpour of rain.

* * *

 **Quite a long chapter, pat on the back to me. Hope you liked this and are looking forward to Crazy Bellas first day of Highschool XD**


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sat in my mother's car, and I'm watching the vast amount of trees pass is here and were on the way to what will be my school for three me I just feel like its another day. I dont know why, maybe this just hasn't sunk in quite yet.

I know how these three months are going to go down anyway. I'm going to pulled into some kind of argument, there going to make my anger tick, I'm going to snap and I'll be labeled as the Forks crazy, freak. I hope time passes by as quick as the rest of my life.

Mum pulls into somewhere, and the place is crowded in cars, lined with people standing outside it. In the middle of the lot, three boys wearing matching jackets throw a rugby ball back and forth between them.

"Okay, Isabella, I want you to listen to me, and I mean really listen to me."Mother says, dragging my attention to her. I will listen, just doesn't me I will act on what she says. "No getting into trouble here, you're only going to be going for three months so I expect immaculate behaviour. Just because you will be leaving doesn't mean you can just dream your way through classes, please listen, it will give you some help before starting college back in England. Were you listening to me Isabella?" Mother scolds, when my eyes start to drift in the direction of the school doors.

"I heard every word. Don't be a bitch, and listen to the bullshit the teacher says," I tell her shortly and I'm awarded with a scowl from my mum.

"Dont try to be a smart arse with that mouth either missy," She scolds.

"Don't frown mum, you will get wrinkles," I tease, though I'm not smiling at all. I grab my messenger bag, and slip it onto my shoulder as I get out into the beautiful downpour of rain.

"Have a good first day hunnie, I'm cooking fish and chips tonight." She tells me as I hold my hand on the door.

"Great," I say slowly, then slam the car door shut. Fish and chips... the one thing she cannot possibly mess up.

As the car starts back up, I stand there looking at the sea of teenangers all chatting and in there own little bubbles. Nobody even seems to care that I'm here. Were off to a great start. I beging to trudge through the crowd, making getting to the reception my main priority.

I really dont fit in here with any of these kids. Sure, some may have brown hair, or brown eyes, or even the dam nearly ghost white skin I've got going on. But each person fits in with a certain crowd. I don't fit in with any of them.

I'm just me.

Even my clothes seem to make me different from everyone else. A simple cream jumper, along with a pair of white jeans, and cream plimsolls. I feel to light, and everyone else is gloomy. Well except for the cheerleaders who are wearing much to pink, and much to reaving, cheerleading outfits.

I walk inside the main office. Why the fuck is there two huge plants in here? I dont get it. Do you not have a big enough forest just outside your door? Like seriously. This place is just green and grey. The most gloomy colors, that will surely haunt me for life.

"Hello miss, can I help you?" The receptionist calls out to me. I snap my eyes towards her and take the last two steps towards the desk. My eyebrows pull down at the amount of papers and post-it notes across her desk.

"I'm Isabella Swan,I'm uh starting father enrolled me. I think. Well yeah he did." I mumble. What the fuck are you doing Bella? She didn't ask for your life's story.

"Of course, I can tell from the accent. Our new exchange student from England. Lovely to welcome you here to Forks," She greets, overly joyed as she stands up from her swivel chair, and extended her hand.

The awkwardness in my body seems to grow, as I raise my hand to connect with heres. Her palm is slightly sweaty... wonderful.

"Now, I've got everything sorted out for you, and made the classrooms as easy to find. Now the head would like to speak with you before you start school, and she will escort you to your first class when you're down." She informs me. I watch as she picks up a hefty looking folder with my name scrawled across the top on a white

Great so this isn't the only awkward conversation I have to endure, there is more to come. I can just feel the sarcasm building up in me.

"Right, and the head teachers room is where exactly?" I question, my right eyebrow raised.

"Oh, yes of course, silly me," She chuckles."Just around the corner past the nurse's office and down the end of the corridor." She informs me.

I follow her instructions, my feet patting against the unpolished marble flooring. The door marked with a small name plate welcomes me at the end of the corridor. Principal Sheaman. What a wonderful name to pass down to your children.

I tap my knuckles against the door in three small knocks.

"Come in," Her american accent, mixed in with her authoritative tone, makes for one thought in my mind. Bitch.

I walk into her lavish small office. My new therapist has a better office than this chicks. Its just a desk, a small shelf, some certificate on the wall and two small wooden chairs for people to sit on. there she sits, my new headmistress or 'principal' as they say here. Her blonde hair pinned up, but still messy at the front, her clothes wollen and her skirt even looks long from here and I can't see much due to the desk.

"Ah, you must be the exchange student, Isabella Swan I presume?" She says. Im a little confused as to if this is a question or not.

"Yes," I say slowly.

"Excellent, come in take a seat, and close the door behind you please."She instructs. I can just tell that I hate her already, and I don't even know why. I take my seat, putting my messenger bag in my lap, and my fingers start to play with the old badges from my childhood.

"Now we must-" She is cut of as the bell rings, echoing from the school building near by. That must be the worst sounding bell I've heard. My last school bell was just a small beeping noise, this is a full blown shrill of a bell.

"We must discuss your record. I see you went to a free school in England,as well as this school is also a community high school. Your GCSE's would predicted you GDP score to be a 4.2 which is beyond average. You have excellent attendance with a few absences due to hospitalized reasons. All and all an amazing student," She informs me reading off the file, but then she puts it down and her face turns more serious.

"Then there is your behavioral record. I see there was a problem in you primary school, that got lead on to you attending therapy for five years, is that still in progress?" she questions.

"Yes,"

"I would just like to inform you before hand that I will give you three strikes, and that is all. Each time you are sent to this office, you will be getting closer to be getting expelled,and that will be a record that will haunt you, all your life. Am I clear?" She asks me. It just feels like another session at the therapists office.

"Loud and clear." I say, my voice void of any emotion.

"Good, then let me escort you to your first lesson. English, with Miss macrawly." She tells me.

Great English...Lets get this day done and dusted.

* * *

 **Wanna check out the trailer I made for this story, then go to this link watch?v=EZxy-R16CE4**


	8. Chapter 8

Who would have thought that as soon as I entered the room, all hell would break loose. It was already pretty crazy inside the classroom, without me, but then I entered, and everyone seemed to come to life.

"Thats the new girl."

"I hear shes from England."

"Shes not bad looking."

"I wonder if she has the accent."

"Hey new kid sit next to me,"

"No sit, next to me."

Too many voices all speaking at once I could barely make out what everyone was telling me. Anxiety rose in my body, as I scanned the room at all the pairs of eyes on me. Fuck this was a bad idea.

"Settle down down!" The teacher shouts, moving from his desk to the front of the class. He must be strict as at once there voices turn into little whispers and murmurs.

"Miss Swan, I'm Mr Cage, I'll be your English teacher. If you take the free seat at the back, your partner will lend you her book to share." He informs me, barely even looking my way as he goes back to his seat.

We hes a fucking bundle of joy, isn't he.

I take a deep breath, letting the tenses of my body relax, as I walk down the aisle. If they would just stop staring then maybe I could relax a little. It's getting a little heavy to breath with all the attention.

Just act normal and take a seat.

I listen to my conscience and take the seat next to girl with a long braid of dark brown hair, and russet skin. Weird...mostly everyone here is pale white. He short black top, has rips along the top, and she is wearing jeans with a lot of chains, and badges on her messenger bag. Kind of like mine, but hers is much more modern.

I ignore her and look down at the table. I can feel their eyes on me, it's unnerving.

"Right, were going to continue on with the study of Romeo and Juliet. Today we will be doing case studies on Characters. Not just any characters but the female characters. You each have your own copy of the book, and the worksheets on your table. You chose one of the four female characters and fill out the worksheet on them. The information you collect today will aid you in your homework for a 1000 word essay on them. You may start." Mr Cage says.

He can't be serious. Romeo and Juliet again, I was hoping I could forget about all this literate not going to help me at all, so I dont understand. Who cares about the montagues and capulets, all I need to know is how to stack shelves.

"So new kid, wanna work with me I dont get all his bullshit. Shakespeare is a like a fucking foreign language to me." The girl next to me chuckles. A strange accent, not quite american, but it's deeper than a average girls voice.

"Sure." I shrug. She grins a full wide smile, showing of her teeth and I see a little bit of her tongue piercing. Why didn't I notice the black lipstick and dark eyes before? She does her eyes like I do mine, but I would never pull off the black lips look.

"Nice accent." She tells me. I don't say a word as I reach for the worksheets, passing one to her and putting mine in front of me. "My names Leah by the way..." She trails off. Alright she obviously wants me to talk to her. I just can't blow my shit. I take a deep calming breath. No need to count to ten just yet.

"I'm Isabella." I tell her. I reach of my bag, opening it up and reaching for the pencil case. No way am I pulling it out in front of these people. They will think I'm some sort of nerd. I unzip it, reaching inside for a pen, then flipping my messenger bag closed. As i rise up my eyes meet with a pair a baby blue one surrounded by pale blonde hair.

"Sup babe," He grins, his teeth poke out to bite on his bottom lip, as he sucks it in. Is that meant to be sexy?

I ignore him, sitting up straight and getting to business. The questions are fairly simple, I mean even a idiot can fill this thing out. I've studied Shakespeare for four years back in England. I barely even use the book at all. And Leah- well she just copies whatever I write, but it's not like I care.

The bell rings, and I pick up my bag straight away, like I'm guarding it from danger.

"How the hell do you even understand those words. I mean why does the guy have to you 'thee' 'thou' and 'doth'. Why can't the old fucker just use actual words, like any other human." Leah complains. It's actually freaky how she comes to stand right beside me, as the class files out, all looking at me as they go. Some of them seem scared to approach me, even the blue eyed jock who spoke to me before. Weird.

"I don't know, I guess us Brits just have the victorian language imprinted into our genes." I shrug. I start to walk and Leah follows along closely. I really dont want to have to fish out that huge folder from my bag, just to find out my next lesson.

I guess it's inevitable really.

"Yeah, I think we learned about that once in history, I may have skipped a couple of the lessons where we learnt it though," She mumbled in thought, following me down the crowded corridor. So many students just walking in every differting. Some in groups by the lockers and some just trying to get through the sea of teenagers.

I sigh, getting to the end of the corridor, and I press myself up against the wall.

"You okay? You're lookin kinda pale?" Leah asks me. I take in a breath, reaching inside the bag for the monstrosity of a folder.

"I am pale." I snap.

I try not to let any papers fall out, as I look at the class schedule. I've got art next. Finally something I can stand doing.

"You've got Art. Cool, I do too, we can hang together." She says, leaning against the wall next to me.

I couldnt help it.

"And what makes you think I want to 'hang' with you." I use quotation makes to make my snide voice even more empathized. Leah just smirks, as she pushes herself off the wall, getting closer to me.

"Sassy. I like you even more now." She grins." Look, if I didnt come and save you, you would have been swarmed from all the groups trying to get you to join with them." She informs me.

"Groups?" I ask, clueless.

"You know, the jocks, queen bitches, nerds, asians, glee club, cheerleaders and the worst of them all, the outcasts." She smirks afterwards. Groups? So people are labeled here. Thats just wrong.

"And what about you. What group are you in?" I question. The corridor is getting less crowded, so Leah pulls on my arm to get me to start walking. She's lucky I saw her hand reach for me, otherwise I would have hit her on impulse.

"Well, our group kind of have two names. Either, the La push tribe or the goths." She announces. We continue to walk down the corridor, occasionally getting curious looks from people.

"And you think I would fit in with your group." I laugh. "Thats so fucking ridiculous. I'm not a goth and I don't come for La push- where ever that is."

"You dont have to be from La push. And you dont have to be a goth, but maybe Black would work better on you. Think about it anyway," She says, then leans up against the doorframe of the art classroom. "All I'm saying is you can hang with us today if you want. If you think were douche's you dont have to hang out with us anymore." She shrugs.

She is openly inviting me to hang out with her and her friends and I'm shutting her down .I mean I don't know them at all. I could wear all black for 3 months. It would be an experience. And gives me a chance to pretend that color matching doesn't bother me. Yeah, I can do this. It seems easy enough.

"Sure," I shrug, my face void of any emotion.

* * *

 **Isabella has found her group, but we all know the goths aren't the most respected. There feared by the weak, and spat on by the strong. So how will crazy Bella cope with that in mind?**


	9. Chapter 9

"Come on, I want you to meet the gang," Leah, says excitedly, as she directs me through the cafeteria doors.

Pure, loud chatter, is all I hear as I look around the gigantic cafeteria hall. The cafeteria in my old school was less than half this size. There's banners, everywhere, promoting football games, and clubs. There is a dinner lady behind a cash register and a whole queue of students getting snacks then just walking away to there table.

I don't get time to think as I nearly lose Leah in the sea of people. They all seem to glance my way, as I walk past there tables. Why must everyone stare at me? I get it, I'm the new girl, get over it already.

I walk up to Leah's table, seeing everyone already sitting there awaiting my approach. Everyone, and I mean everyone has the same look going on. They do actually look like they belong to some kind of gothic tribe.

Black clothes, all wearing ripped up vests, and all tattooed with the same tribal symbol on there upper arm. Its making me feel weird with my bright clothes. I feel like I'm an outsider, which I am anyway.

"Guys, this is Bella, she's cool," Leah introduces me, so I sit down wearily next to some guy with long black hair, wrapped up into a ponytail.

"Leah what the hell. You can't just bring someone over here and say there with us, that's not how it works." Some guy snaps at her, but Leah just smiles at him.

"Give it a rest Sam, and go off and fuck Emily. I have got no girl friends in this group, and I said she is cool so back off," She snaps at him, then turns to me with a huge teeth showing grin. "Don't mind him, he thinks he some kind of Alpha of the group," She chuckles.

Well there is definitely chemistry between these two, no doubt about it. The way the rest of the guys laugh at Sam, but stop when he begins to get pissed even looks like he is shaking with anger.

"Whatever," He spits, jumping out of his seat, and walking away, with a loud slam of the cafeteria doors.

"Leah's right, he can be a right dick sometimes. I'm Jacob, thats Quill and Embry." Jacob introduces, and the other two guys just nod their head at me. Okay then... I place my messenger bag on my lap, and wrap my arms around it for safety.

"So how has your first day been?" Jacob asks me, as he burst open his can of coke, and take a large chug, making his apples adam bob.

"Well I'm still here so, I guess it's going okay," I shrug. If I had no will left in me, trust me I would have just walked off the school grounds by now. But it's easy to sit through a teacher talking shit.

"It must be different to the kind of school you're used to huh?" He asks.

"Definitely. I'm still confused about all these groups you've got going on here." I mumble, and look around seeing a table full of people all staring at stacks of open books. Must be the nerds.

"Well, see over there, that's where the heads of the school sit. The cheerleaders and the football, braindead jocks." Jacob chuckles, as I stare at them.

Cheerleaders is something that we never had at school, especially the jocks. I mean we had a football team, but at school we had to wear our uniform twenty-four-seven. It was the school's policy. I'm actually kind of glad we can wear our own clothes here.

"Right, and what makes them the head of the school, they don't eem like a big deal to me,"I shrug and, Leah snorts, while leaning towards me.

"Are you blind, just look at there faces. Looks get you everywhere in this school. You even grow the slightest bit of a jawline your classed as perfection." Leah, says, raising her lip in disgust.

I look over my shoulder at them and look closely. I mean yeah there good looking, but who cares about that. There muscles and perfected makeup doesn't mean shit to me. There just another bunch of people to me.

"Then there's the nerds, there the lowest...well the outcasts are the lowest, but the nerds in particular get picked on for their smarts." Jacob informs me, and to be fair, the nerds are easy to spot.

They sit near the entrance of the hall, where the dirty plates are left. There textbooks take up most of the table, and nearly each one has still got braces.

"What about them?"I ask, looking out the table at the back of the hallway, pressed up against the window.

"Those are the Cullens, and I would stay clear of them. The little girl with black hair, thats Alice, and the tall guy with messy hair, thats Edward. Word around the reservation is that they were in a mental asylum for four years, then escaped and got adopted by doctor Cullen and his wife." The guy named Quill told me, with a cheeky smile like it was a horror story.

I know that name...I've heard it before. Edward, he lives next to me doesn't he. With that crazy lady who would shut the fuck up. Yeah, he was in my way that day wasn't he?

I look closely, trying to see his face, but we are nearly directly across the room from him. It must be him, he has the same hair, and build. It's not like here is another high school close to here, so it must be him.

"Fuck,"I mutter, then turn back to the guys. "I live next to them,"I tell them and Leah raises her eyebrow in question.

"No way," Jacob mutters and when I turn he has half a smile on his face. "You must be near my father's shop, Billy's-"

"24 hour market."I finish and Jacob grins even wider looking way too excited.

"yeh thats the place. It must have been you then who was looking for a job. Dad told me so crazy british girl came in his shop, shouting bullshit as she stormed out. Your a fucking legend when my dad told me I couldn't stop laughing." Jacob, chuckled as well as the rest of the table.

Forks really is a small fucking town. I couldn't shake off the fact that Jacob called me crazy. I hated the word, it was like the fucking thing haunted me wherever I went. I took a deep breathe, and tried to manage a smile, but I was failing.

"Yeah,"I chuckle nervously. "That was me."

The bell sounded and I couldn't jump out of my seat quick enough. I yanked my messenger bag up with me, and slung it over my shoulder within a second.

"Whoa no need to rush Bella, we have five minutes tops, to get to class." Leah, reminds me, laying forward and relaxing against the table.

"Yeah, uh, I have to go toilet anyway, see you in guy right?"I question. I think that's what she told me in art. I have biology, and she has phycology, then we both have gym together.

"Yeah, do you need help finding the bathrooms?" she asks me, already moving out her seat.

"No, no."I tell her quickly, clutching the shoulder strap in my hands. Is it getting stuffy in here? My anxiety is kicking in, with all the thoughts rushing to my head at once. "It was nice to meet you guys, I'll see you later."I rush the words out, already walking away, with wide eyes, and in a panicked state. I must bump into about six people as I walk out of there.

The halls are no different, well in fact the hallways are worse. Bodies walking in four directions trying to get to there destination. I'm taking heavy breaths now, trying to stay calm, as I reach for the handle to the girls bathroom. I stumble in there, running into a cubicle and bypassing two girls doing there make up. They don't even give a damn that I'm there.

I close the lid giving me somewhere to sit, and so I can put my head in my hands.

10...

I open my eyes and look up the ceiling where a large circle shaped light, glares at me. I very slowly, open up my bag, and take out my familia book, along with my fluffy pen. I gulp, setting it on my lap, and rushing to open it up.

 _Dear unknown,_

 _I nearly had a panic attack and it's only the first day. I don't understand what came over me. I just had all these thoughts and questions rushing at me and I just started to panic. It was stuff about the cheerleaders, the Cullens, Billy, even Leah and her friends. But more than anything it was that word. That fucking word._

 _Crazy..._

 _That just seemed to tick it off. I couldn't help but wonder if that's what they were thinking of me. Maybe that's why they have all been staring at me. I must have the bloody word written across my forehead. i'm getting paranoid, and I need to calm down._

 _So thats what I'm going to fucking do, and I'm going to get this shit hole of a first day over and done with._


	10. Chapter 10

I was bored. Thats all I could simply think as I took my assigned seat in Biology. I had to sit with Edward Cullen, but I didnt care. It wouldn't change how I felt. I was exhausted after the panic attack I just had. All I wanted to do now was go home and sleep it off. But I was stuck here.

Edward kept to himself, only occasionally glancing at me in curiosity before shying away. Ive had the same treatment from numerous people all day, so I just sighed and stared at the chalkboard blankly.

A diagram of the meiosis and mitosis cell structure. I only got a B in my science curriculum, which is still fairly good, but most of it was down to guessing and luck. I could tell you what mitosis and meiosis, but if you wanted me to go into the deleted stuff, I would just come out blank.

The certain structure of a cell was not something that was captivating my thoughts right now. My thoughts drifted off to Leah and Jacob. They seemed really friendly, and we talking to me all of lunch. That guy Sam was not going to bow down and accept me that easily.

I was fine with that, I mean even just having one person talk to me openly on the first day was a surprise. I was fully willing just to sit on my own for these three months and suffer in now I guess I get to suffer allowed.

"Um-Isabella."A quiet voice snapped me out my voice, and I followed it straight to Edwards face.

Now that I look at him up close, I notice things more clearly. He's actually kind of pale, and his green eyes go from light around the iris then darker around the edge. He has quite plump, rosy coloured lips, and a straight nose to accompany his chiseled jaw. The guy is good looking, I would have to admit.

"What?" I asked, my voice coming out tried and exhausted. Exactly how I feel on the inside right now.

"We have to work in pairs, to do the project, as lab partners. Its a out of class project," He told me, his adam's apple bobbing as he talked, and distracting me from his words.

"What the fuck is a 'out of class project'?"I say baffled.

"Well-" He coughed, turning in his chair to face me. "We will have a month to complete research for a certain topic, and the information we gather, will then be processed into a assignment, then it will go towards are grade at the end of the year." He informed me.

I tried to listen, I really did, but my eyes were transfixed on a bird in a tree, just sitting on a branch watching me. It was a really nice raven, black wings and-

"Isabella?" Edward leaned to the side, blocking my view of the brid. Right, he was talking, which means I should probably talk back.

"Yeah, sure absolutely." I nodded, leaning back in my chair, and covering my mouth as I yawned.

"Great. So my house or yours?" He asked eyes narrowed slightly, as I stared at the table in front of me. did I just hear him correctly? Was he offering what he thought he was? If he was then no. I am not the kind of girl who jumps in a guy's bed. No fucking way.

"Excuse me?"I said, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, he still seemed innocent and at ease, as he looked at me, maybe even a little confused.

"The project...do you want to start it at my house tonight or yours?" He questioned again.

Oh yeah, right, the project. I just wanted to sleep, not start on some crappy project with this guy. He seemed nice and all, but I dont know if I had the willpower to spend at least an hour with him alone. Even now I found myself yawning again,and my eyesight burling with the need to sleep.

"How about we skip tonight, and just start tommorow, it is my first day, and that. I can't be asked to spend my time doing school work that I couldnt give two shits about."I inform him, managing to stay calm as I talked.

"U-Uh yeah sure. Then where would you like to go after school tomorrow, mine or yours?"He asked again.

My mind started drifting again. I wonder what part of America Edward is from, he has a very weird accent. Not at all southern or nothern, those are about the only two I know. It sounds somehow english, with just a hint of his accent when pronouncing his vowels very weird.

"You zone out quite alot." He teases a smile finding its way onto his face.

"And you talk alot. No wonder I zone out," I snap back, and he should have scowled like everyone does or have been mortified by my harsh tone, but he laughed. The guy actually laughed at my anger, instead of being pissed off about it.

"Very true there Isabella." He chuckled, closing his eyes and shaking his head, as he tried to not laugh.

"Right...Well to answer your question, it doesn't really matter whose house we go to, we live right next to each other." I remind him and he nods biting his bottom lip.

"Oh, I remember, you gave my mother quite the scare. She was still shell shocked then next morning." He joked.

Was that meant to make me feel sorry for her? Because I didnt. The women was kind of like Edward, very talkative, not the kind of person I like to be around. I guess I was able to cope with him because he wasn't overly emotional, and because I was to tired to actually give a fuck.

"What about you did I scare you?" I asked him, as the school bell rang in the background, and everyone rose from their seats.

I copied them and Edward bent down to pick up his bag, and I rushed to sling my over my shoulder where it was protected. I started to walk and Edward followed along next to me, answering my question as we walked to the door.

"No scared, more like shocked me. I was just walking over to the new neighbours house, expecting to sit there listen to a couple hours of boring chatter and out you pop glaring at me and telling me to get the fuck out of the way. It was really quite a warm welcoming."He chuckled.

I forced a giggle down and fake snorted.

"Well I am very nice to people."I lie, I look dead ahead and see Leah leaning against the lockers. Right, she is my escort to gym. She glares at Edward standing next to me, her upper lip curling over her teeth in disgust as he smiled down at me.

"Ill see you tomorrow Edward,"I muttered walking over to her and Edward just had to shout back his reply to me.

"See you tomorrow Isabella, we will continue our discussion then," He waved at me,smiling and walking away. Well...Okay then.

"What the fuck Bella?" Leah said as soon as I turned my attention on her. She did not look impressed with me.

This is why things are so much simple when you are on your own. There are no complications, or worries. But when you have friends, its like you have to step on eggshells to please them. I wasn't one to do things to please others, so I just shrugged and started walking in the direction the the arrows on the wall told me lead to the gym.

"No Bella, Edward Cullen. I'm trying to help you fit in at this school, and you go and make friends with edward fucking Cullen." She spits. She really just started this upon herself, as my anger rose in my blood, and my brain shut of my filter.

"He's not my fucking friend, he is just a guy, and I never asked to fit in, or for your help. Im here for three fucking months and I think I can survive without you and your fucking goth crew helping me out,"I snapped, storming off, but she just stormed right along beside me a smirk on her face from my words. She almost found it amusing.

"Were going to be best friends,"She said smiling. "But seriously, no fucking around with the Cullens, the guys would not fucking let it go so easily."she pointed out, and though she took my anger well I was not at all calm.

"If you mean Sam then I dont give a fuck if he likes me or not-"

"No Bella, all of them." She said, and I shrugged so she let out a aggravated sigh. "Just stay away from them."

"like I said in the lunch hall. That's kind of hard if they're my neighbours, and I'm now Edwards project partner or something." I say throwing my hand up as I couldn't think about what he was talking about. I definitely heard the words, out of call project, and research.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. You must have the worst luck ever." She laughed, and we walked inside the gym and into the locker rooms.

Gym when you're tired and aggravated is not a good combination when I'm involved. I was sure putting my nager out there ,and it was causing the other girls pain because of it. The guys were on the other side of the court, playing their match of basketball, and we were on the other side playing volleyball.

Half the guys were watching us instead of focusing on their own game. And I was too pissed to care about actually putting in effort. so, when I saw the ball coming towards me, I just punched it sending it flying into someones head.

Apparently it was the head that belonged to a cheerleader called, Jessica Stanley, and according to Leah I didnt have to worry about causing her damage, she had no brain cells left to kill. I didnt bother giving her the time of day, as she shrieked and held her bloodied nose bawling her eyes out.

The game continued on with Stanley's crying as background noise. I just wanted this day over and done with. Thankfully, as me and Leah stood at the back of the right hand side of the court, nobody ever let the ball come in our direction. At least some of them were smart.

After school, me and Leah said our goodbyes as she joined the guys and I walked in embarrassment over to my mums car. Nearly everyone at this school has a driving license or walks. Then theres me being picked up by my mum. just to add up to it all, mum was bright and chipper, making my mood even more sour.

"So, how was your first day?" She questions excited for some good news. She should just learn by now that there will never be good news with me.

I gave her a thumbs up and a snarky smile, to which she tried to play off as me joking.

"Oh come on sweetie, I need details not just a thumbs up. Did you make any friends?" she asks hopefully.

"Oh yeah, I besties with the goths, I bet they get high off meth and like to have group orgys around the back of the school."I say calmly and my mother's mouth opens in shock. Okay, that was a lie, I'm sure they didn't do anything extreme.

"Isabella Marie Swan, how dare you we so vile, I brought you up better than that. Why can't you just tell me the truth for once and talk to me like a human being."Mother, sighs. I turn in the chair my face blank, as I looked at the side of her head. She was too focused on driving to look at me, so I smirked a little.

"Why can't you accept the fact that I dont want to talk?" I snap back at her and she sighs, the defeat in her voice making my smile grow wider.

"You will eat dinner then go straight to bed."She instructs me and I give a small sarcastic chuckle.

"I'm way ahead of you mummy."

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	11. Chapter 11

My night went just like mum said, I ate my dinner in silence, ignoring my mothers chatter. Like I care how her day went. Straight after I went to bed, collapsing in a heap and just feeling like I was knocked out into unconsciousness.

The following day I was exhausted. I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and get ready for another day of hell. I did debate trying the whole wearing black today, just to try and fit in with the La push group. Then decided against it. I wasn't going to just change to fit in, when I didnt want to fit in in the first place.

No, I was just going to be me.

I wore some black leggings, to tried to bother with the effort that jeans take, and simply slid on a white vest with a black, plain hoddie over the top. I zipped it up half way, letting some white show, but put my black Nikes on to go with the outfit. Even if it was black, it was in no way Gothic or Emo.

I trudged down stairs going in the direction of the kitchen. Mum saw me approach, a big smile on her face, but when she spotted me it seemed to die down visibly. I'm glad she got the hint I was in no mood for her sunshine happiness.

I clench my eyes shut, nearly falling asleep as I leaned against the counter. I could see steam rising from the kettle, and I quickly got a clean cup and salvaged some of the warm water. I dipped in a tea bag, adding milk and two spoons of sugar.

I raised the cup to my lips, my tongue stung stinging slightly from the onslaught of hot liquid. Even though the tea tasted nice, and reminded me of home, it didn't help. I was still moody, and not even the slightest motivated to go to school.

"So hunnie ready to go."Mum said sweetly, I turned and scowled at her.

Nobody should be happy in the morning...nobody.

"We have time, I'm going to watch some TV.", I inform her, taking another sip of tea.

"Oh no your not. You are not doing this again Bella, you will go to school on time and ready to learn."She scolded me.

I could feel a migraine coming on, so I took a large gulp, trying to finish off the cup. It wasn't very nice chugging down a hot liquid, but it took my mind off my mum for a minute. Maybe I could catch some sleep in class.

"Fine, lets go."I said tiredly.

I quickly got a packet of crisp before storming out the door, slinging my messenger bag strap further up my was easy to hear mum fumbling with the door, as I waited in the rain for her to unlock the car door.

"For fuck sake hurry up woman." I grumbled under my breath, restraining myself from just shouting at her.

"Renee!" A cheerful voice shrieked.

My eyes popped open, my head turning to the end of the drive as I looked at the woman in the driver seat with her head hanging out of the window. That lady, the next door neighbour. She really catches me at the wrong moments.

My lip curled over my teeth as her eyes meet mine. She was shocked to see me, I could see it in her eyes as she looked at me, then someone started rolling down the back window.

The hair was what confirmed the person.

Edward Cullen. My science partner, apparent asylum escapee and talkative dick-head. As my mother walks over, completely ignoring me and going to talk to the lady in the car. I bet she is as talkative as her son, I'm going to be standing her all day.

For fuck sake!

I storm over to the car as well, ready to yank those damn car keys out of my mothers grasp.

"Would you give the keys, for fuck sake woman is it hard to press a fucking button!" I grit out in-between my teeth, effectively cutting off there chat.

"Isabella Mar-"

"Yeah, I know how dare I, be more polite and all that bullshit." I mutter, ready to walk away and fall asleep in the warmth of the car.

"Good morning Bella."Edward calls teasingly as I walk away.

"Fuck off!"I call back to him, pressing the button on the keys.

I see the lights of the car flash, and I haul open the car door, sighing in relief as I am finally secure inside. I lean again the window, looking out at the wind-shield and praying that mum just gets in the car already. I could have watched something on TV by the way she is talking.

Though it is pleasing to see Edward in the same bored state as I am, only as I think this hes looking straight at me.

Idiot.

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	12. Chapter 12

"Have a good day at school sweetie." Renee chirped and I openly rolled my eyes at her.

Yanking open the door, I slammed it shut behind me, and readjusted my headphones to block out all the people crowding the parking lot.

Becoming small by yanking my hood over my head, I clutch my satchel strap and head forward getting this god awful day over with.

I followed along, floating through the day by barley listening and walking next to Leah. I used her as a way to get out of talking to people or participating in class. For some reason Leah made people scared. She seemed to drive them away.

People are only like that with me when I start talking.

The one thing I am glad about is that the talking and gossip has seemed to die down around me. People have gotten over the fact that I am the new kid from England. Though I can clearly see when someone is talking about me.

People in America aren't very subtle when it comes to talking behind someone's back.

I roll my eyes at nothing as the bell goes signalling time for Biology. I felt like a zombie trudging along the same path as yesterday, walking down the near to empty corridor, and managing to stay out of everyones space.

A person glanced at me. So small girl with brightly colored clothes. She seemed to make eye contact with me straight away. It was like she was waiting for me to walk past her. Though when I met her eyes, I looked away, looked at my feet, and carried on to class.

The teacher was just setting up, doinging his own bussines at his desk, while the rest of the class settled down. I took my assigned seat next to Edward. Sitting down with a huff, and a grumpy frown, as I stteled my folded arms across the desk and rest me head on them. I stared into the darkness, as my face was near enough pushed into the desk.

"You okay there Bella?" Edwards chiper voice questioned. I could barely make out even the hint of worry in his voice.

Lift my head up with the same grumpy look, I narrowed my eyes at the man with a face of pure happiness. Its like he just has sunshine and rainbows radiating off of him in rays of pure bliss. Then there me. The person surrounded by storm clouds, and a whole mind revolving around a hurricane.

"I'm fine."I mutter, sitting up a bit straighter. Though slouching over and burying my head into darkness is great, I can't be asked to be told off for not paying attention.

"You don't look it?" He continues, swiveling in his chair, and I notice it brings him just a little bit more closer.

What ever happened to personal space?

"I said I'm fine." I grit out, clenching my fist.

The teacher begins the lesson, and I am lost with my thoughts yet again. It is never a good thing to be trapped inside your mind. Especially when your bored. Sighing, I look around the room. Of course my eyes meet others as the turn to look at me aswell.

Its like people just know when your going to look at them.

I avert my eyes in embarrassment, and turn only to meet Edward's eyes. Giving up I close my eyes for a second, before just looking straight ahead at the teacher as he waffles on about some rubbish. His accent makes it even harder for me to concentrate.

"-Each cell in our body contains a set of genes. Thoses of which were passed on from the gametes that created you. Now can anybody names some features that would be passed on?" He questions the class, and is followed by silence.

"Um, hair colour." A girl called out, not completely sure of her answer.

The teacher just looked relief for someone to break the silence before it dragged out for too long.

"Yes, Abigail. Everyone's natural hair colour is passed on from your parents. But it is always the dominant gene that is chosen. If one gamett carried a brown haired gene, and the other carried a blond haired gene, what colour hair will there child have?"

"Brown" The girl sitting next to Abigail answered, seeming much more confident with her answer then little Abigail did.

"Sir, my mum has blonde hair and my dad has black hair, but I've got blonde hair so how does that work?" A boy with a clueless face asked from the back.

I snickered a little at how truly clueless this guy was. Even the Jocks next to him didn't seem that confused. But they didn't look like they were paying much attention anyway. they were probably daydreaming about screwing some cheerleader. Stereotypical, I know. But let's be honest, it's probably true.

"Good question Peterson." The teacher praised with a happy grin, already reaching for his chalk. "There is a one in four possibility- that like you the baby comes out with the less dominant of the two..." He began to draw out the diagram that I loath, and I seriously was contemplating jabbing my self in the eye for something to do.

With a sigh, I collapsed my elbow onto the table as a way to hold up my head. If it wasn't for my hand right now, I would be asleep and drooling on the table.

Forty minutes later, and my sanity is nearly completely gone. The bell rings. The unimaginable amount of relief is me is almost tangaganable in the air. Freedom. Well sort of. Gym was next, and I can't help but know my anger will be take out on that volleyball again.

"Well, that was interesting." Edward says, and I have to look at him to make sure he was really talking to me. To my disappointment, he was.

I just don't answer.

"So..." I picked up my messenger bag, flinging it onto my shoulder, securely. "After school, my mum is going to a cooking club and my dad will be at work. My sister will be there but she won't bother us."

"What?"I said confused, my head tilting slightly.

"The project. We agreed for today." He reminded me, looking at me like I was... like I was crazy.

"Yeah, sure, see you then."I say, enthusiastically.

I walk out of there escaping to Leah's side and yet again following in my zombie like state to get this last lesson over and done with. Then I can go home and once again be secluded into my room. the thought brings a smile to my face.

"So anything happen with Mr Project partner today?"Leah questioned.

Fuck. Fucking project piece of shit. All I want to do is sleep, is that too much to ask.

"Nothing."I tell her as a answer. If she knew I was going to his house tonight she might just go on another bloody speech about how lonny his family is and how I should stay away from them.

High School is just pure bullshit.

* * *

Damn I haven't uploded this in a while.

SORRY Its not much.

But hey its something.

Give me a break.

I'm sorry.

I'm just going to go now.

Yeah.

Bye.


	13. Chapter 13

Once I arrived home that evening, I walked up to my room, ready to just change, but instead collapsed onto the bed. I was exhausted, and my mind was about to go into overdrive. I need my sleep, other wise I'm just going to start talking to my self to try and get these thoughts out of my head.

There not even important thoughts, there always stupid things like, why is the sky blue? Where is the original bible? Why are we on earth only to die? Then these questions always lead to endless thoughts and conclusions. It just hurts my head trying to think about it. Add in school to the equation and you have one cranky girl.

I don't know how long I have been napping for, but it doesn't feel like long at all. In fact I am awoken to the sound of a banging on my door. Three knocks to be exact, and they sound happy. It can only mean one thing...

Groaning, I slide off the bed like a snake, dragging the quilt down to the floor along with me. I am still fully dressed and I struggle to get out of the quilt and standing up straight again. I'm just so bloody tired.

"Bella?" Edwards voice makes me roll my eyes in annoyance. I knew it was him, but hearing it be confirmed is like a kick in the teeth. Why do I have to do this? I want to go back home.

I shove the quilt to the floor, and push my exhausted boy, up and towards the door. Opening it, I am blinded by the bright light of the hallway light, making me wince away from it. Edward is all cocky smiles and bright eyes. I see the pile of books in his hands, and my mind mentally cowers in the corner begging that he would just fuck off.

"Can I help you?" I snap moody, from being woken up.

"Aw come on partner, don't be so blue we got some cells to lock into." Edward cheered, pushing past me, with a grin and entering my room.

"What are you doing?" I ask in disbelief at his confidence.

"I like this," He gestures to my wall full of posters. "Very you." He adds.

"Cool, but seriously, what the fuck are you doing in my room Cullen?" I question him, moving closer with my arms crossed over my chest.

He holds up the books in a duh motion, waving them back and forth, before throwing them down on my bare mattress.

"Project time. You were supposed to come over to mine and work, but I guess you got... distracted." He points out.

He kicks off his shoes leaving him bare footed, and he takes it upon himself to sit on my bed. I watch in disbelief as he gets comfortable, sitting up and laying out the text books in front of him.

"You have got to be shitting me."I muttered.

"Nope, come on-" He pas the space beside him."Lets get to work."

"Look mate, I'm knackered, I can barely think straight, and I'm having murderous thoughts about you because your feet are on my bed, I think it's best you use the door, before I show you how to use the window."I snap sassily.

"Did you just call me your mate? So were friends." He points out, smirking.

My eyes shut in frustration, as I lean to the right trying to keep my frustration and tiredness under control.

"No, it's a figure of speech,"I grit out in between my teeth.

"Hmm, okay. But anyway, we really need to get some work done." He says again, and my top lip curls up in anger.

"Did you not hear a word I just said, I'm tired you arsehole, hget the fuck out of my room!"I shout at him, my anger overflowing by this point.

"No." He says plainly, looking at me with a dead straight face.

"What?"I reply back confused. Why isn't he running for the hills like everyone does?

"You're going to sit down, and you going to work on this project with me, then you can sleep. Go have a drink or something, wake yourself up, but I am not failing this project because you are tired. I let you blow off our first night of studying, but now you need to actually work with me here." He instructs, all humor gone. H is dead serious.

I...

I think I'm in shock.

Nobody's ever talked back to my outburst like that. Not since Laurent... but he would still get pissed from time to time.

What the fuck is going on?

"um,"I hum under my breath, unsure of what to do in this position.

"Go get a drink, then we can work." He commands me.

I feel like a robot in a daze, as I make my way downstairs. I can't believe he just, took that so well. Why didn't he call me a ... the C word.

"Are you okay sweetie, I heard shouting?" Mum says worried rushing into the kitchen along side me, she looks startled when she sees me.

No doubt, my shocked face is evident.

"Everythings fine...I think."I say in a confused monotone voice.

I read into the cupboard, getting a glass cup to pour myself out some water. I just stand there, drinking about three glasses full of water. after that, I fill it up once more, and go back stair up to my room.

When I enter the room, Edward has adorned himself with some small, square glasses, and he is deep in thought over what he is reading. I place my glass on my bedside table, and pick up my quilt for the floor. I kick off my own shoes and crawl onto the bed, a little further away from Edward, wrapping the quilt around my body.

"Why didn't you freak out?" I question him.

I need to know why...

"What do you mean, at your little outburst?" He asks, not looking back at me.

"Yes." I nod, even if he can't see me.

"Well, my brother has a bad the shit out of my mum all the time, but we found a way to calm him down. Just tell him calmly what he should do. Nobody likes being told what to do. And like it did to him, it shocked you. It just takes someone to be calm to get them to realise whats happening."He shrugs in explanation.

Well, people do try to tell me what to do, but I never listen. I guess it was the fact that he was so calm. Good.. that was so weird. I shake my head trying to snap out of the trans state he left me in.

"Is your brother...crazy?"I asked boldly.

"No, and neither are you Bella, you're just a human with feelings like the rest of us." He tells me, writing down some notes on the page.

I wish that was true.

I get a weird feeling in my stomach, and pull the quilt closer to by body trying to tame it. It was just so... nice to hear him say that. To hear anyone say that. What is happening to me, I'm going soft.

I think I'm going to be sick.

"So which cell do you want to study princess?" He teases, turning to me with that cocky ass grin on his face.

Nevermind then, hes still a dick.

* * *

 **I don't even know what this is...**

 **I don't even know if it makes sense...**

 **But whatever right?**


	14. Chapter 14

Edward decided we should work on the plant cell. God knows why. I agreed just so he would leave.

Of course my mum had to hug him and give him some food before he left. It really was the most hideous thing I had to stand back and watch.

Edward is just such a... I don't even know what to call him ,but I know it isn't nice. For one, he told me what to do, and two he disrupted my plans for the night.

By the time he was gone the sun was setting and I was dead on just collapsing in bed. But something kept me up, and I'm not sure what it was. But it wouldn't leave my body, making me anxious like I was just waiting for something.

So, I got out of bed, went over to my messenger bag and pulled out my diary.

I settled into bed, opening the diary to a fresh page and began to write.

Dear Subconscious,

Today was as crappy as the last. American school is exhausting much like school back home. I don't understand how they get through eight years of this shit. I can't wait to go back, and to be back at home. I miss it. Edward Cullen came over after school, unwelcome if I might add. He didn't even react to me snapping at him, he just smiled and got on with it. It's weird. Nobody's gotten me to listen tot hem. The therapists, Laurent, hell even my own parents can't get through to me. But Edward did. I never let anyone control me, never, but he did. I don't ever want to feel this way again. So, I wont let it happen again. Nobody can control me.

I feel this weight come over me. This darkness, just wrapping around my body, squeezing and squeezing. Making me numb to the very core. Its shutting me down, helping me to escape, helping me to become who I need to be. a person who cant be controlled, who can't be told what to do, who lives free.

I felt in a dream, completely and utterly disconnected, as I sat on my bed with my diary just laying on my lap. I turned my head like a robot, my body numb, and exhausted. I reached for the panda bear, just sitting innocently next to my pillow. Unzipping the back of it, I slipped my hand in and immediately my fingers touched cool, thin metal.I grasped it, lifting it out, and I could just abut see it in the dark gloom, that loomed over the room.

I raised it to my wrists like it was nothing, and ever so slowly pushed it down on my skin, it didn't hurt, not really, a small sting, like having an injection. I kept pushing down, the sting growing and once I felt the small release of blood, my body came back to life, I could feel again. It was like magic. A simple thing, like this piece of metal, can give me that little push back to reality.

I blinked, and my shoulders slumped as I left the blade slowly slip out from under my skin.

I don't need to do this...I don't need to do this... I kept repeating over and over, and I wiped the small speck of blood from the blade using my top, then placed it safely inside the panda.

This is Edward Cullen's he did today, how he made me feel, it made me go back to that horrid place where there's nothing. My own inner clarity, where there is nothing. Some may think its a good place, hell sometimes I think its a good place and that why I go there. But then again, if you can't feel, what's the point in living at all?

The next morning I woke up to a dreary day. the weather was not a reflection on my mood, due to the fact that it is the weekend, and I don't have to go to school. Then again I only have today before I have my second session with Dr Jenkins.

I'm certainly hoping for these three months to pass by quicker. The fact that its merely been two weeks is not a good sign. There are at least seven me weeks left to endure before mum and dad will accept the act that I am miserably here and take me home.

I just want go home.

I roll over in bed, enjoying the warmth, and my eyes stare at my arms. the small indent from last nights events is a sad reminder of everything. Its not even a cut, which is progress to me. Its just like a little slit really that's dried up. At least its not deep enough, or large enough to leave a scar.

I sit up a little, stretching a listening the the sound of my stiff muscles take release from being dead all night. I take no time in savouring the chance to lay in, and instead get moving to try and find something to do today. I need distractions, I need something.

I take a shower, rushing though the routine to get ready. I don't now why I'm rushing, I have nowhere to go or nothing to do. I just feel like I want to get it out of the way. I dry my hair, and put it up in a high ponytail, tight to my scalp. I throw on some jeans and a band tee, before layering a black hoddie and matching coloured boots to cover up more.

I know I want to go out, but I don't know where.

I guess I just have to see where the paths take me.


	15. Chapter 15

With the sky looking like a grey mist of despair, I shut the door behind me, and walk out into the real world. It's a comfort to me, and I smile up at the sky, enjoying the cod against my skin.

"Alice, just sit in the middle."

"No, just because I'm small."

"Exactly, your small so you will fit."

"Alice, don't argue with Emmet, you wont win." I hear Edward chuckle from over the massive shrub that divides our houses.

I walk down the path and our gate opens with a small screech, as it swings back into place once I let go of it. I look up and down the street picking a direction to go. Maybe I'll go to Billy and get an snack first then try to find a park or something, I ponder.

I walk forwards toward Billy's.

"Bella!" Edward calls.

Ignoring him, I carry on walking past there house.

"Bella." Edward chuckles, his hand clamping down on my shoulder and spinning me around.

For fuck sake.

I shrug his hand of and he drops it to his side, letting out a small breath.

"Where are you going?" He asks me.

"That's none of your business,"I snap, narrowing my eyes at him.

He shakes his head, like my behaviour is a joke to him.

"Seriously, where are you going?" He asks again, this time with a smile on his face.

I look down at the floor, hating how his eyes stay glued to mine.

"I'm not going anywhere, just walking around."

"By yourself?" He asks worried.

"Yes." I say plainly.

He bites on his bottom lip, turning around to his family, and I follow his eyes. His mother smiles at me, as they load stuff into the trunk. Baseball bats? He turns back to me grinning and I narrow my eyes at him.

"How about you join me and my family?" He suggest, and I accidentally let my mouth open as I laugh right at him.

"I'm sorry, but a day trip out with the happy bunch doesn't sound like a good day out to me." I joke, shaking my head, as my laughter dies down.

"Bella, were not that bad. Just come you can hang out with me."

"And what makes you think I want to hang out with you." I laugh.

"Why not? I'm adorable." He grins, and I nearly spit in his face with how fast I laugh. I don't think I've ever laughed this much. Not even when me and Laurent used to mess around.

"If I could describe you in one word, it would be far from adorable. Now go play happy families, because you wasting my precious time." I snap at him, and turn to go to Billy's.

"Alright princess." He calls, and I stop dead in my tracts my whole body freezing.

For some reason, I feel this warmth spreading though me. The cold feels like nothing, as this heat overpowers me. I feel my heart beat pick up, and I lower my head in confusion. My stomach tightens, as I hear the words in my mind again.

"Call me that again Cullen, and I'll rip your fucking balls off." I threaten, though my voice is meek and barley audible.

What did I just feel?

 **A/N**

 **A little Chapter to make up for lost time. I'm sorry guys, I'm a slacker, and I need to wake up.**

 **More Edward and Bella coming, I want to move the story along so, I'm speeding it up, and cutting out some of the long parts.**


	16. Chapter 16

Sunday rolled around, and I was yet again sitting in the crappy reception room waiting for Dr Jenkins to call me in. I play with the straps of my messenger bag, picking at the many frays littering the fabric.

The guy who was sat at the desk was unnerving me with his constant finger bashing on the keyboard. The clock ticking too loudly made it even worse. I pull at the frays a little harder, pulling a few out completely.

"Well James, I'll see you next week, and don't be late again." Dr Jenkins voice echoed into the room.

"I won't, thank you for still seeing me." I hear another guy say, presumably James.

So it's this dicks fault I'm late, and now he is just having a casual conversation stargazing on the time more.

Prick.

"Of course. We're making really good progress James, I'll see you next Monday at the group meeting."

Hurry the fuck up...

"Definitely. Bye Jenkins."

"Goodbye James."

Finally.

As I sat there glaring daggers at the opening to the hallway, the guy called James emerged. His eyes zooming in on me, the one person in this wretched place. I would have looked away if I wasn't pissed off, ready to spew a couple of my favourite words in the english dictionary at him.

"Hello." He says warily.

He creeps the small distance towards me. I of course sink into my seat, saying with my eyes for him to fuck off.

"James, don't even think about it." I hear the receptionist speak up, pushing himself away from the table and standing to his feet.

I can see the frustration in James eyes, when he clenches his eyes and fists tight. His jaw straining to a limit where you can see the tenons popping out. The he lets out a little breath and is as calm as a leaf in the summer.

"I was just going to talk with her." He grits out through clenched teeth, not taking his beady eyes off me.

Before the receptionist can retaliate my word vomit decides to spew out.

"And what the fuck makes you think I want to have small talk for you. You've already wasted some of my ducking time, so just get the fuck out of here and get a life." I nearly scream at him, rising quickly to my feet and shoving past him.

"Well she's defiantly crazy." James snarls.

The word...that word. It stops me dead in my tracks and I feel my hand grasp onto my strap with anger.

"Don't call me crazy." I say quietly.

"Isabella? Would you like to come in?" Dr Jenkins ask peering out of his door.

I ignore him, turning on the stop to face this James prick.

"Don't ever fucking call me crazy, you prick." I shout at him, banging my fist against the wall and making the tiniest of dents in the wall.

"Isabella!" Dr Jenkins shouts, marching down the hall, and restraining my arms behind my back.

Seething anger radiates around my body as the prick before me smirks, taunting me towards him. I try to pull my arms out of Jenkins grip, but he holds on firmly, not letting me go.

"James. Leave, now." Jenkins orders, the receptionist quickly rushing out from behind the counter, to lead him out of the building.

I glare at James, as he is practically pushed towards the door, his smirk a burning memory of hatred in my mind.

"It was nice to meet you Isabella." I hear him shout before the door slams shut.

Immediately the grip on me falls, and Jenkins is infront of me holding my shoulder looking worried.

"I'm sorry Isabella. James has a problem with women, he likes to make them angry. Why don't we just step into my office and we can begin our session?" He persuades me, his touch leaving my body stiff.

"Fine." I snap, pushing his hands off me, my glare never fading, as I go towards his office not waiting for him.

 **A/N**

 **Sorry its a short chapter, but I wanted to introduce James into the story, and I haven't uploaded in a while so... see you next time x**


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